The epitome of a perfect wife was the stay-at-home wife. Someone who cooks all three meals while the husband is out to earn his daily wages. Someone who cleans the house and polishes your shoes, someone who calms a screaming or wailing little child running barefoot inside the house. A woman who caters to her husband's needs without qualm or buts. The epitome of a perfect husband was the strong and brave one, the "boss" in the family. One who provides and protects the family. The husband takes on every challenge and takes every win to his pride. He puts the food on the table while the wife makes sure to clean the table after the food has been devoured.
My work entails me to leave home at night and come home in the wee hours of the morning. 4:00am to be exact. It has been a routine to commute going home. At such time, the city is already buzzling with activities. Taxis are on the ready to blow their horn and alert any stranger standing by the road in hopes of attracting them to hop on their gleaming automobiles.Streetlamps start to lose their gleam, and you can hear the scraping of dry leaves on the ground as everyone tidies about. As the cold, early morning wisp of wind would start to bid its goodbye, you'd silently pray for it to stay together with the morning sun. It is in this mundane things you start to realize that all is not lost from the old world. Somehow you become thankful and start to wonder if these would live on till the years go by.
Riding on a local bus (jeepney), i could smell the stench of the early catch mixed with the sweat of the early risers coming from their daily rounds to the local market. I could see heads bob up and down, oblivious of the bumps on the road. Their faces sleepy and tired, yet in their eyes you can see a glint of hope for a good day ahead. It is in one of these trips that i notice a certain woman. A frail-looking lady wearing a baggy shirt with the sleeves all rolled up to reveal skinny arms. Wisps of hair were falling onto her sad face. While everyone else around were all chatting happily, as if they very well already know each other, she on the other hand sits forlorn with a far-away look on her face. Every now and then the others would give her side glances and murmur among each other. Suddenly the bus stops and she stoops down to heave onto her arms two big baskets full of fishes, fresh greens and fruits. Who would believe those two frail arms could carry such a load. Halfway out the bus she stops to regain her breath. A passenger reaches out for one of the baskets and puts it on the ground for her. She gives him a big smile before she stepped off the bus. Across the street from where she stopped, a burly man stood up from where he was lying, (a small mat on the roadside) and motioned for her to hurry. She again stoops down and drags herself towards him, slowly as not to spill the goods along the road. All the while the driver was watching the whole scene with distate as he murmurs to himself, " Lucky bastard". The man, presumably the husband, didn't even bother to cross the road and help her carry the load. Instead he just stood there fuming, with his hand on his hips, at her slow pace. When she reached him, he went on ranting and ranting about things we could no longer hear. The lady could only look down and nod as she sits on the map. The driver moved as along the road, still clacking his tongue and murmuring "Hesus!" from time to time. The other woman passengers couldn't contain their feelings any longer and each of them started bursting out " Lazy husband. His wife is too thin to begin with yet he lets her do all the lifting." and "Do you know that she goes to the market almost everyday and brings home that load with her? Everytime i ride the same bus with her, i always see the husband not being the "man". Grabe ka tapulan!.(soo lazy)" This made me realize. Whatever happened to chivalry? of the traditional way? Does being in the modern world mean we should neglect what we have learned from our ancestors? True, in the corporate world, women are starting to rule. But this should not be the basis of how life is supposed to be. There's got to be equality among men and women. A give and take. Surely we can't all do things by ourselves. Superman and Wonderwoman is a make believe. A fiction we all want to create and keep in our minds so we won't be bullied by the harsh realities of life. But the hard fact is, we need each other to help each other. Man and woman may not be alike in some ways, but one thing we have in common with each other is our thoughts of survival. We won't survive without lending a hand to one another. Isn't this supposed to be what our ancestors have enriched in us, the Bayanihan culture? Or some just chose to keep that part in our blood locked up? It's a sad reality but one we must force to accept.
My work entails me to leave home at night and come home in the wee hours of the morning. 4:00am to be exact. It has been a routine to commute going home. At such time, the city is already buzzling with activities. Taxis are on the ready to blow their horn and alert any stranger standing by the road in hopes of attracting them to hop on their gleaming automobiles.Streetlamps start to lose their gleam, and you can hear the scraping of dry leaves on the ground as everyone tidies about. As the cold, early morning wisp of wind would start to bid its goodbye, you'd silently pray for it to stay together with the morning sun. It is in this mundane things you start to realize that all is not lost from the old world. Somehow you become thankful and start to wonder if these would live on till the years go by.
Riding on a local bus (jeepney), i could smell the stench of the early catch mixed with the sweat of the early risers coming from their daily rounds to the local market. I could see heads bob up and down, oblivious of the bumps on the road. Their faces sleepy and tired, yet in their eyes you can see a glint of hope for a good day ahead. It is in one of these trips that i notice a certain woman. A frail-looking lady wearing a baggy shirt with the sleeves all rolled up to reveal skinny arms. Wisps of hair were falling onto her sad face. While everyone else around were all chatting happily, as if they very well already know each other, she on the other hand sits forlorn with a far-away look on her face. Every now and then the others would give her side glances and murmur among each other. Suddenly the bus stops and she stoops down to heave onto her arms two big baskets full of fishes, fresh greens and fruits. Who would believe those two frail arms could carry such a load. Halfway out the bus she stops to regain her breath. A passenger reaches out for one of the baskets and puts it on the ground for her. She gives him a big smile before she stepped off the bus. Across the street from where she stopped, a burly man stood up from where he was lying, (a small mat on the roadside) and motioned for her to hurry. She again stoops down and drags herself towards him, slowly as not to spill the goods along the road. All the while the driver was watching the whole scene with distate as he murmurs to himself, " Lucky bastard". The man, presumably the husband, didn't even bother to cross the road and help her carry the load. Instead he just stood there fuming, with his hand on his hips, at her slow pace. When she reached him, he went on ranting and ranting about things we could no longer hear. The lady could only look down and nod as she sits on the map. The driver moved as along the road, still clacking his tongue and murmuring "Hesus!" from time to time. The other woman passengers couldn't contain their feelings any longer and each of them started bursting out " Lazy husband. His wife is too thin to begin with yet he lets her do all the lifting." and "Do you know that she goes to the market almost everyday and brings home that load with her? Everytime i ride the same bus with her, i always see the husband not being the "man". Grabe ka tapulan!.(soo lazy)" This made me realize. Whatever happened to chivalry? of the traditional way? Does being in the modern world mean we should neglect what we have learned from our ancestors? True, in the corporate world, women are starting to rule. But this should not be the basis of how life is supposed to be. There's got to be equality among men and women. A give and take. Surely we can't all do things by ourselves. Superman and Wonderwoman is a make believe. A fiction we all want to create and keep in our minds so we won't be bullied by the harsh realities of life. But the hard fact is, we need each other to help each other. Man and woman may not be alike in some ways, but one thing we have in common with each other is our thoughts of survival. We won't survive without lending a hand to one another. Isn't this supposed to be what our ancestors have enriched in us, the Bayanihan culture? Or some just chose to keep that part in our blood locked up? It's a sad reality but one we must force to accept.
